We all know that the Pink Ribbon is for Breast Cancer, and that Yellow is for the Troops, but do we know the other meanings of certain ribbons? Did you know Yellow is also for suicide prevention and awarness, Green is for Bi-Polar and Grey is for mental illness? Or the Black and Red are murder victim ribbons? Of course not, these are things that in society aren't accepted. They have a stigma!
Well I'm here to talk about one of the causes associated with the Teal Ribbon, and that is rape!
Utah has the has one of the highest report rape records in the country, it actually exceeds the National average. What's even sadder is roughly 82% of rapes don't get reported in Utah do to how conservative we are! Think about how many more that would be if ever single one was reported to law enforcement? Also 80% to 90% of SURVIVORS (we are not victims we survived and for that we are survivors) know their attacker! What is this world coming to?
No one deserves or asks for rape or sexual assualt, no one invites the attacker to do it, and no matter what anyone thinks no one did anything to ask for it. Just because a shirt maybe slightly low cut doesn't mean rip it off, just beacause someone is making a joke doesn't mean please beat me up and steal my innocence!
December 20th 2010 will always haunt some part of my mind, it was that night that i joined that percentage of women who had to endure that pain. It was that night that somewhere deep down i had courage to stand up to my attacker and report it, and it was that night that my soul died!
Honestly i think murder should be a charge that goes along with rape even if you didn't physically die, you do mentally and emotionally. You're soul is taken and your spirit crushed.
I'm repeatedly told i'm a strong women for reporting it and that i'm couragous, but let me tell you I feel ashamed and guilty, 2 emotions i'm told are very normal to feel after something like this.
I spent roughly 6 terrifing hours in the hospital/clinic, the detective on my case was amazing, he was vey patient and kind and explained everything to me. Members of the rape crisis team also showed up around 4am and offered help and support. After everything was finally documented and tests done i was able to go home. I had to leave my cloths behind, luckily the crisis team comes prepared with new clean ones.
I've spent this last week wondering if I did the right thing in reporting it, and i know i did, but part of me wishes I kept it my secret. I realize now the pain i'd cause myself if I did that.
I'm writing this not to get sympathy but to raise awarness, if you or someone you love has been through this get them help. Don't let Rape be your secret don't let it tear you down!
And trust me there is all sorts of support out there, people will be behind you no matter what!
Remember you're a SURVIVOR and lived through the worst of it and although it'll still hurt you can make it through anything that comes your way.
April is Rape awarness month, it's also my birth month, I plan to proudly wear my teal ribbon to show the world I overcame this trial to show the world i survived and to remind myself that i'm strong. Will you also be wearing a teal ribbon? I challenge you to! No one should have to live through this alone, let people know you support them let the world know that NO ONE can get away with rape.
